Wonderland
by Causeway.Reck
Summary: Naruto takes a push down a flight of stairs, and instead of hitting the ground wakes up to find himself in a strange land with strange people and strange occurances... Wonderland. Shonenainess. SasuNaru.


Oi. Yeah. You probably know what this is already. Lots of people have probably done this. (sigh) Oh well. I was bored, so it sounded fun. Anyways, this story isn't all humor and crack. I'm not even a fan of crack, so I don't really know why I'm writing this - but like I said, not just for humor. It has a serious storyline, trust me.

**Summary: **Naruto takes a fall from his school's stairwell and instead of hitting the ground finds himself in some strange land... with strange things and strange occurances. But everything is not as happy-go-lucky as it seems.  
**Rating:** M - for language.  
**Category:** Humor/Romance/Fantasy.Adventure  
**Warning:** Shonenai  
**Disclaimer:** I doth not own teh fuzzy blue dress or cheshire cat or Naruto or Alice in Wonderland. I want Deidara and the Cheshire cat though. (crosses fingers)

* * *

**Introduction**

"Hey, why don't you fight back ever? To afraid you'll hit like a girl?"

"Yeah it would suit your lookie-face, Naru-_ko_."

"C'mon, bitch make this worth it!"

To much more of this and Naruto wouldn't be able to take it anymore. All he could do was block his face from the attackers steadily edging him towards the empty school stairwell. He couldn't fight back or it would just be proving him as the monster they all knew him for. So today their target was his "girlish" face.

"Oh please, Naru_ko_, you need a more manly face. Let me help you." An ugly brunette sneered, raising a fist to clock Naruto.

"Let the stairwell help him!" Another smirked, shoving Naruto towards the stairway a few inches behind him. The blond's eyes widened as he stumbled backwards, his footing sliding down onto the first step and sending him even farther off balance. He reached for the handbar but missed and went plumetting down towards the floor and definite injury. But everything seemed to slow down and instead of hitting solid ground Naruto found himself falling through it into a dark black void... and he soon lost consciousness. If he had hit the ground, he was thankful he hadn't felt anything.

Naruto was wakened by a jolting headache and the sound of something ticking. He sat straight up and rubbed his sore head until he realized where he was. Surrounding him was a large forest with strange trees and flowers. "Did I die? ... is this Heaven?" The blond inquired cluelessly, looking for the ticking noise. He looked in his lap and saw a pocket watch lying open and ticking away - but that's not what caught Naruto's attention. The blond jumped up, shrieking. "WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING?" He screeched, tugging on a white apron. "I DON'T appreciate this, God!" Naruto was wearing a sky blue dress - that matched his eyes - a white apron, tall white socks and black leather dress shoes. To finish it off a large blue bow was somehow tied in his hair. The blond screamed, resisting the urge to run around in circles stripping. He was pulled from these thoughts, though, as the ticking started to agitate him.

Picking up the pocket watch, Naruto looked around to see if perhaps its owner was nearby. Maybe he would know where the hell he was. A few seconds later there was a rustling noise and the blond spun around to face a familiar person, minus the pinstripe coat, spectacles - and bunny ears?

"What the - Jiraiya?"

"M'dear, you have my watch. Would you mind handing it over? I can't be late to a book meet." He said tapping his foot impatiently.

"Ummm... hello? Do you know who I am?"

"Why yes, you're a gorgeous newcomer, aren't you?" The rabbit-man perked up, really taking in the femininely dressed Naruto. "Hey, you know what kind of books I write? You'd be great for the-"

"Shut up! I'm a fucking GUY!" Naruto schreeched, nailing Jiraiya and sending him flying backwards.

"Owwwowww. Ohno-ohno-ohno! I'm going to be late!" He said jumping towards Naruto and grabbing the pocket watch, before running off again.

"Hey WAIT!" Naruto shouted after him, hitching up his skirt to follow. "Where am I?"

"No time!" Jiraiya answered, "Gotta go!" And disappeared faster than Naruto could keep up.

"What the hell...? That was Jiraiya... for sure." Naruto muttered, clenching an annoyed fist at his previous almost-perverted comment.

The blond slumped against a tree, contemplating where and how he could get rid of the ugly clothes, and where he was. Maybe he really had hit his head and went into some crazy dream-filled coma. Still...

"This sucks. I wanna wake up or something." Naruto sighed, sinking to the floor of the forest.

"No you don't, really." A voice from nowhere came.

"What! Now I'm hearing things too!" He shouted exasperatedly.

"No, look down here - no over here!" Naruto turned his head and noticed a patch of pansies grinning up at him. He resisted the urge to scream and run away terrified that an inanimate object had a face and could talk. He stayed where he was. Recovering, he looked back at the pansies.

"Why not?" He inquired.

"'Cause if you wake up you can't come back."

"Who says I would want to come back?" Naruto asked the air more than the pansies. The flowers chuckled,

"You'll find out."

"What do you MEAN I'll find out?" Naruto panicked, standing up and pointing an accusing finger at the flowers, which just laughed again. Naruto crossed his arms, pouting - quite unaware of how cute he looked. The blond sighed, turning back to the pansies. "By the way... where am I?"

The pansies grinned and all chimed at once, "Welcome to Wonderland, blondie!"


End file.
